Change

I've been sitting here for a while, trying to get out the words that will somehow explain the jumbled mess floating around in my head. They don't even have to be elegantly pieced together to sound poetic. I just want something coherent, but that has seemed near impossible tonight. It quite possibly could be all the school work that has consumed my day...3 textbook chapters, a thirteen page Harvard Business Review article, another 6 page article and an attempt to write a fictitious business memo to a company about how I know the best ways to run their operations...geez, that even sounds worse typed out! No wonder my mind is mush.

For the past...I don't how long...I have felt I am at a stand still. Yes, I do have a job, a nice place to live and the privilege to further my education. I live in a pretty cool town and I have the most amazing family and friends. And we cannot forget Weasley...even if you do not like cats, Weasley would be the one to change your mind...he is absolutely wonderful. But, I feel like something needs a change. To clarify, I do not think my family and friends, or Weasley, need to change - they're about as close to perfect as human beings, and cats, can be. I just feel like something in my life needs a bit of a tweak.

I have always believed that if you want something, you just have to make it happen...speaking rationally here, people. I mean, you can't just sit on your butt and expect things to be given to you. Life is not meant to be easy, but people who work for what they want are rewarded beyond their imagination. Even though I know I want to make some changes, I get nervous...that's probably my biggest set back. I am in a comfort zone that I am terrified to get out of, even though I feel I am not quite where I want to, or should, be.

I have started doing things that, in my opinion, should curb the uneasy feelings. As mentioned before, I've started MMA, which I absolutely love! It is not a joke, that kind of workout and discipline does wonders for stress and your overall well-being. So, Lindsay deserves a "Job Well Done!" on her first attempt. In addition to MMA, I will soon be furthering my physical abilities with training for and running a 5k, which I have also mentioned in a previous post. My first day of training is supposed to be tomorrow, but the 5-7 inches of snow outside right now may put a damper on my plans. Starting back to grad school this month has really encouraged me, and has helped get me in a better mindset. Check mark on attempt number, eh, 3.

These are all great, but the biggest attempt I have yet to make cannot be discussed...yet. It sucks, I know...I want to scream it from the rooftops. Although, 2 things: 1-this here World Wide Web can, yes ladies and gents, be seen by the world, and 2-I really, really don't want to jinx myself! It is, by far, the thing that, not could, but will change my life...it could put a hiccup in things, in which I will have to redirect my path, or it could be the greatest thing I have ever done. No matter what, though, I will be stronger and will have learned so much about myself from doing it. For those of you who know, I thank you for your support. Sad as it may be, you are behind me and that means the world (well, even more than that) to me.

Until I can divulge further...

Cheers.